I posted on Instagram the other day about the power of relationships. It was a Les Brown quote: “What am I becoming because of this relationship?”
It got me to thinking. We often think of “relationships” only in terms of dating relationships. But, all of our relationships play a role in our lives. Sometimes, we are absent-minded about our relationships – meaning, we do not always think deeply about how they started, or how (or why, or IF) they should continue.
We meet people at a certain stage in our lives and, sometimes, due to nostalgia, or fear, we hold onto them long after they have ceased to feel nurturing or satisfying. It is good mental, spiritual, and emotional housekeeping to occasionally do an inventory of our relationships.
Asking the question “What am I becoming because of this relationship?” is a good starting point. If you ask this question, you will get answers. Here are some possible answers:
Because of this relationship, I am becoming…
- More success-minded
- More physically fit
- More relaxed and cheerful
- More optimistic, happier
- More and more in debt
- More stressed out and suspicious
- Drained and unfocused
- Angry, sad, and negative
Obviously, the way you answer this question can, and should, affect how you view this particular relationship. If your answers were more negative than positive, ask yourself why you are still involved with this person. Are you afraid of being alone? Are you afraid of the person (afraid of making them mad, or having them think less of you)? Do you carry the limiting belief that being in ANY relationship, regardless of how toxic or unsatisfying is superior to being single?
If so, why do you have that belief? Who told you that? Is it actually true? Can you think of examples where it might not be true? Are you willing to sacrifice your future success – being all that you were created to be – just to avoid (temporarily) making someone mad (they will get over it, believe me). Are you insecure and overly dependent upon other people? What amazing things might be possible in your life if you were willing to distance yourself from negative or unproductive relationships?
Asking yourself these questions requires bravery, honesty, and character. This is the beginning of wisdom. After a certain age, we ourselves are responsible for how our lives turn out. We alone will reap the consequences for our life choices. It is no one else’s fault, ultimately. You cannot blame your family, friends, lover, or spouse if you’re not succeeding, even if they are toxic and negative.
As an adult, you get to choose who you spend your free time around. If you insist on spending time with people who belittle you, put you down, let you down, waste your time or money, laugh at your dreams, or encourage you to stay the same rather than evolve into the person you were meant to become – that’s “your bad.” It is your responsibility to take your life seriously, and do for yourself whatever you need to do. If you don’t support, respect, and value yourself, please don’t expect anyone else to.
On the flip side, once you take the brave action of stepping out alone (or with fewer people) – even though you might feel lonely, afraid or insecure – the Universe rewards courage. Once you are free from any emotional or spiritual anchors, you will be surprised at what you can achieve! Some of those lingering bad habits might start falling away. You may shed all that procrastination and start working towards your dream-life. At the very least, you will no longer be limited by the mindset of your environment.
Don’t sell yourself short. You are a powerful being. You are the Greatness of Spirit living in human form. But as humans, we are sensitive to our environments. Our environments consist primarily of other people. We can love people where they are, for who they are, without allowing them to infect our own mindset, and limit our potential. It is important to be mindful about who we spend our time with. We need to consider what seeds they may be inadvertently planting in our consciousness.
People mean well. But, if they are unconscious, they are subject to the prevailing negative, toxic mental attitudes that flourish in society. If you want to break away from mediocrity and do something different, you have to do something different.
Take the brave step and set the boundaries you need to set. Allow your greatness to shine unhindered and undimmed. You’ll be glad you did!
Peace and love,