The stories that we enjoy in our lives provide not only entertainment, but a source of catharsis – a way to experience certain aspects of life vicariously through a character. We experience these stories through movies, books, plays, musicals, puppet shows, television, even ghost stories told around a campfire.
I am fascinated by the craft of storytelling. I always enjoy a well-told story, regardless of medium, genre, director, starring actor, or length of movie.
But there are certain kinds of stories that can potentially harms us. Stories that we tell ourselves about why things happen, or what’s going to happen, can either help us or harm us, depending on the story.
For example, if a man gets rejected by a woman, he can tell himself that all women are bitches; that relationships are a waste of time; that women only go for jerks, and since he’s such a nice guy, that’s why he can’t get a date. Or, he can tell himself the truth – that there’s some internal dialogue running through his head that is causing him to act in ways that are off-putting. He can study men that know what they’re doing and imitate them. He can improve his self-esteem and attitude through other accomplishments and positive self-talk. He can choose to approach women that are more likely to respond. And he can ask for honest feedback from a female friend or relative.
This hypothetical man has two story choices: 1) The world is against me or (2) I can do this; I’m going to figure it out.
Likewise, we all have two story choices: the Woe-is-me-why-doesn’t-somebody-help-me story or the I’ve-got-what-it-takes-to-make-a-great-life-so-let’s-get-after-it story. I like choice number two, myself.
But, like all stories, our life stories have authors. We are the authors of our own stories. We have the free will to tell whichever story we choose. If the woe-is-me story line works for you, you should continue writing it. If you’re tired of that story and want to write a new one, you absolutely can!
Best of luck to all of us as we become better authors of our Life Stories.
Peace and love,