One of the many dangers of living in an increasingly polarized world is that it tempts us to think in terms of black and white – not just the literal black and white of racial discrimination, but the more insidious black and white of “either-or” thinking. Rarely are things so neat and tidy. But our general laziness as human beings seduces us toward the easy, uncomplicated, unexamined path.
My current path is nebulous and unclear. But I know, with a deep knowing, that the lack of clarity is purposeful and useful. It is like the murky head-space of dreams – where important things are worked out in the subconscious. My personal relationships are vibrant and satisfying, but mostly unclear and hard to label. My creative life is evolving into greater professionalism and excellence, but on the surface, nothing has changed. My day job continues as usual. My spiritual practice is personally enriching and sustaining, but undefinable – I can’t just provide the name of a religion and have people nod their heads in recognition. Where other people seem to seek security and certainty, I have purposely chosen an enigmatic but captivating life path that is hard to explain.
I discovered this last night while trying to describe my life to a new friend. I didn’t realize how bizarre and riveting my personal experience has been until I tried to explain it. Perhaps this is the path of all artists (and we are all artists in our own ways). Perhaps our lives are meant to be like dreams – strange and non-linear, queer, but revelatory. Ever since graduating college – and certainly ever since changing career paths in 2009 – I have avoided a clear and definable path. Every choice has its pros and cons. But these choices have served me and my purposes in this life.
My hope for all of us is that – whatever path we take, whatever decisions we make – they will be consciously chosen, and based upon what we know is ours to do in the world. May our lives reflect our deepest values and personal truths. May we weed out all hypocrisy and any limiting beliefs that would prohibit us from becoming all we were meant to be in this life. Here’s to a week of increasing courage – the courage to be radically unique individuals in a world that generates thousands of copies.
Peace and blessings,