Big Yellow Dog

I’ve thought about you

Many times

Over the years.

Saw you.

Soft, plush escape,

Sparkling heavy smells.

Me and You,

Big Yellow Dog,


Getting smaller,


as daddy’s



Pulled me

Away from you.

“We have to go, baby.”

“My teddy dog!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll buy you another one.”

I’ll buy you another one.


of so many

Echoing Promises,


Rattling, snaking,


Caverns in my

Trusting child-brain

Waiting, hoping.

No more Big Yellow Dog.

We have to go.

No more

Two-parent home,

Brady Bunch

Filthy fantasies,



“I have to go, baby.

Doesn’t mean I don’t love you.

I’ll always love you.”

Syllables colliding,


Deaf ears,

Bouncing, meaningless


Where’s my Big Yellow Dog?

So big.

Big enough

To tolerate

Co-dependent, unceasing embraces,

From skinny brown arms,

So tiny,

Big brown eyes,


Sad like my Big Yellow Dog’s.

So lonely he must be.

I left him

Just like Daddy left me.


2 thoughts on “Big Yellow Dog: A Poem

  1. Really do miss you. Everything is so different without. My life has been hard and slow. But for the rest of my life, I will always love you, until Allah takes me out of this Material world (yes I will). I miss you Sakinah. But My love for you will never end. I cherish my memories of being there with you and Najah, that all I have left to hold on to. But I turn to a Divine Power, that I answer to, and I always ask that Allah forgive me my shortcoming and I ask you also to forgive me. I know that Allah will forgive us all for our shortcoming, and I pray that you will also.But if you can’t, then I understand. We are just human, and are limited in our ability to forgive. But I love you anyway, and always will. But I do promise you that my love for you will never end.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s