A Poem About Blackness

BECAUSE I DON’T ACCEPT THE RULES OF COLORISM

 

Dancing streams of moonbeams

Slip past partially open

Curtains,

Hit tear-stained pillow,

Patting you while

I watch you

Sleep.

Slapped in the face

You felt

When they ingested

Noxious, self-loathing

Pills of dubious privilege,

Then spewed them back at you,

Making you cringe

At the skin you’re in.

Glassy, priceless,

Ebony shelter,

Delicious as it is dark.

Dark like

The Womb that warms

Us all

From Greatest to the Least.

Nine-month lease

Until released into

Bloody white hospitals,

Strangers jostling to

Label us,

Limit us,

Prohibit us.

Dark like the soul

That knows its own worth,

Till told to

Take its place –

A false space –

Pinching a girth

Too expansive to erase.

Dark like

Healthy earth

Nourishing ungrateful,

Hateful parasites

Flourishing while

Teaching

Us

To categorize,

Ostracize,

Euthanize

That Darkness.

Beautiful

As it is elusive.

Confusing to those

Who lack the eyes to see,

The skin to feel

That which Darkness,

In all its forms,

Can do when it’s free.

Rest, little one,

While I whisper

Terms of Truth,

Secret self-names

Fallen

From family tree

Honey Vat

Night Soldier

Onyx Star

Sable Lady

Toasted Queen

Ginger Goddess

Hazel Pride

Drink these signs.

Sing them in your dreams,

Since the Darkness

They

Call cursed

Is Splendor

They

Can’t control.

Let these signs

Flood your insides,

Fill your bones.

Cuz the names

They’ve given us

Are not our Own.

Do You Want “Change” or a Revolution?

With the turning of the seasons come shifts in attitudes and perspectives. A new year tends to bring new resolve towards achieving goals, and manifesting our deepest desires. The prospect of a new and different type of president has filled our common talk-space with various chirps of rage, dread, cautious hope, and giddy elation.

The common idea underlying all of the above is a longing for “change.” The New Year brings with it hopes for change. Many presidents have won elections promising change. Somehow, though, nothing, or little, ever changes. Why is that? Do we really want change? If so, is “change” enough? Or is revolution what we really need?

Revolution, based on the word revolve, means to turn things around. A revolutionary acts fearlessly (which doesn’t mean not feeling fear, but acting boldly in the face of fear). A revolutionary challenges existing practices, institutions, and people in power, questioning their very validity. They are willing to upset the status quo in order to achieve their goals, whatever that means (Vocabulary.com). There are very few genuine revolutionaries.

Artists of all kinds – fine artists, poets, musicians, performers – tend to have revolutionary temperaments. It just seems to come with the package. We spend a lot of time looking and observing; feeling everything deeply, too deeply; analyzing and questioning; making connections between disparate things, connections other people don’t seem to see; trying and failing to communicate what we see to the larger world.

"After the Tears Dry" 16" X 12", Acrylic on canvas
“After the Tears Dry” 16″ X 12″, Acrylic on canvas

This is the real reason, in my opinion, for the starving artist stereotype. It’s not that people don’t care about art or that art is not valuable, it’s that the temperament to make art and the temperament to make money are not often found in the same person. These two things require different skills, different mindsets, different priorities. It’s hard to be a wealthy revolutionary. Society rewards conformity and predictability, not radical change.

And this is what hinders many people, artists and non-artists alike, from truly behaving in revolutionary ways. Society and its denizens will punish you if you do. You might want to revolutionize relationships, or workplaces, or politics, or the financial system. But when you attempt these things, you will be punished. Not jailed, necessarily. But criticized, threatened, ostracized, ridiculed, abandoned. You will lose relationships. And money. And status.  Many people talk a good game. But when it really comes down to it, most shrink back and do as they’re told, or continue to do as they’ve always done. This isn’t a criticism. Pressure is pressure; it’s hard to bear. But it’s better to live in such a way that your words and your actions are a match.

Therefore, many people who truly live revolutionarily, in whatever sense, do so quietly. This is the best way. People who talk a lot and make a big outward show out of going against the grain usually turn out to be all talk; their lives are often quite conventional. The few people I’ve met who are truly living counter-culturally, are quiet but insistent about it. They tend to hurt people’s feelings without trying. They withstand the rejection of family, friends, and society at large in order to be true to their beliefs. They give up certain privileges and comforts if it contradicts their sense of what is right. For all the people who prattle on about “change,” few are willing to pay the price of the revolutionary.

Although I’ve never thought about this before today, I find myself naturally attracted to the revolutionaries. The small price I’ve paid is loneliness and sometimes isolation and/or being misunderstood. I can tolerate this. I would rather pay the price than be a hypocrite. I’d rather be isolated and uncomfortable for being who I am than have stability and comfort at the cost of my integrity.

So, to be more specific, here are some examples. I believe that monogamy is optional, not mandatory. Non-monogamy is a healthy and more realistic alternative and something I believe in. All of the institutions and ingrained beliefs that support and mandate marriage and monogamy are based on sexism and the transfer of property. I actively question all of these beliefs. Religion is a way of coping with life but it does not matter in any kind of life or death sense. All decisions based on fear are wrong. I believe in choosing what works for me. Through my eclectic spiritual practice, I have become a more loving, wise, balanced, and resilient person.

The current political structure is bankrupt. Community organizing is the pathway to lasting change. The current law enforcement system is also hopelessly corrupt. I believe it should be dismantled altogether and a new system based on community empowerment and community responsiveness should be in place. In other words, having police prowling around looking for people to “get” should be done away with. Rather, they should respond to empowered community law enforcement task forces who should be voted into their positions by their communities.

These are just a sample of some of my unpopular beliefs. I usually keep them to myself. I provided them here only as an example. I believe the next (successful) revolutionary movement will be stealthy, quiet, thoroughly tested and integrated into many facets of life. As a take on that famous Gandhi quote: “Be the revolution you wish to see in the world.” I would add: be consistent, and be quiet about it.

Peace and blessings,

Raven

My New Year’s Resolutions

Happy New Year everyone! I hope everyone had a good time. I sure did!

There are two times of the year when I am at my most introspective: New Years and my birthday, but especially New Years. Some people look at New Year’s resolutions as a cheesy or hopeless activity where one writes down clichéd and impossible goals one has no intention of fulfilling. However, for me, New Year’s resolutions are fun. And I have every intention of fulfilling everything on my list.

For me, resolutions are not so much about goal setting, performing certain tasks, or “fixing” myself. The New Year is about fine-tuning how I actually define myself. I get to look at the past year and decide how the lessons of that year will inform how I approach the next year. I get to decide who I want to be and why, based upon my values and my past experiences.

So, here are a few of my New Year’s “resolutions.”

  • I resolve to advocate for myself at all times. I’ve had to learn this the hard way this year. If I don’t radically stand up for myself and advocate for my own needs, people feel no shame in inconveniencing me, pushing through my boundaries, forcing their beliefs and agendas on me, etc. No one cares more about me than me!
  • I resolve to develop and share my gifts out of respect for my incarnation here on the planet. I believe that the reason we are all born with different innate talents, interests, and ways of being in the world is so that we can show up authentically as that – and benefit our communities and the world. We can’t all be accountants, computer programmers, and doctors, regardless of the salaries these fields offer. I plan to do what I need to do to support myself and make a living, but I have an obligation to myself and the world to nurture that which makes me special, that which makes my heart sing.
  • I resolve to love people authentically and without agenda, regardless of the consequences. Our social contracts often teach us that we have to play games with each other in order to get what we want. In dating situations, men and women both play manipulative games in order to push their agendas on each other. In work situations, people play “office politics” in order to edge one another out as they claw their way to the “top” (the bottom, in my opinion). I resolve not to participate in this. If I care for someone, I will act like it. If I later learn that they are unworthy of – or ill-equipped to receive – that caring, I will remove myself from their life and bless them from afar. But I will not lower myself to game-playing and manipulation, even if I know it would “work.” People are not things to be used, but eternal beings to be cherished and respected.
  • I resolve to give the lion’s share of my attention to my spiritual practice. I cannot and will not limit myself to one spiritual discipline. There are many that I draw from, and I will continue to do so, regardless of other people’s opinions. Being honest with myself about that, and developing a personal practice that makes sense to me, has made me into a person that I deeply respect. I will continue to develop and fine-tune my practice as my wisdom increases.

These resolutions are the bedrock of my intentions for 2017. The actions I take will align themselves with these principles. So I think it’s going to be an amazing year.

Good luck to everyone in fashioning the life they want this year and every year thereafter.

Peace and blessings,

Raven